ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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