Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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