Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
