Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
