There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
