barbara walters just said penis...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
