it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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