I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
In other news, I just burned my penis
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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