How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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