i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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