she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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