Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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