In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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