you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
