How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he thought i was a dude.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
