margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
