Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
