I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
