I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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