Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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