how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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