I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize