So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
