i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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