I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
