be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
please come you make the beer taste better
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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