Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
