You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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