I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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