pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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