My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
