as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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