oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
