Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize