Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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