New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
