Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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