you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
