Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
