I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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