That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
