Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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