I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
