One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
