Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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