Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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