After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Randomize
