Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
