Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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