VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You ate ashes out of my bong
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
