dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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