im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
