Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
