He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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