this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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