You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
