a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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