It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
