puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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