This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you are never too drunk for berry picking
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
