Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
