THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
