quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize