So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize