franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
