kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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