and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
