No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
