so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
