My friends, they love my intelligence
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
