i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
